"Dept. of Things That Happen Far More Often Than You Can Possibly Imagine:"

Guest: “I’d like a Bud please.”

Cocktail Warrior: “I’m sorry, we don’t carry Budweiser.” [pointing to the beers displayed on the back wall] “But we do have Heineken, Amstel Light, Peroni, New Amsterdam, and Miller Lite.”

Guest: “You don’t have Bud?

CW: “No, we have Heineken, Amstel Light, Peroni, New Amsterdam, and Miller Lite.”

Guest: “Damn, I really wanted a Bud.”

CW: “We have Heineken, Amstel Light, Peroni, New Amsterdam, and Miller Lite.”

Guest: “You sure you don’t have any Bud back there?”

CW: “We have Heineken, Amstel Light, Peroni, New Amsterdam, and Miller Lite.”

Guest: “Oh.” [pause] “Can you run those by me again?”

CW: “We have Heineken, Amstel Light, Peroni, New Amsterdam, and Miller Lite.”

Guest: “Okay, just gimme a Beck’s.”

CW: [collapses]